So you successfully relocated to Sweden and have learnt a few Swedish words. You have also learnt to keep time and to remove your shoes. What is next? It’s what you have been searching for – a guide to Swedish dating.
Swedes are beautiful but may prove difficult to mingle with, especially in the beginning. And if you are from a talkative or more outspoken culture, Swedes may look like a mystery. However, everyone is unique, so no two Swedes will behave alike.
Tips for Dating a Swede
If you are hoping to shift into the world of Swedish dating, here are a few guidelines to follow:
1. Make Your Move
If you want to approach a girl or a guy in Sweden, you do not need to be shy. So, girls, if you keep waiting for that hottie to approach you and request date, you may be disappointed. He may even be into you but is waiting for you to approach him and do all the talking.
That is because Swedes practice gender equality. It is culturally acceptable for a girl to make the move. This also applies to guys; if you are attracted to a girl, make your move, and request a date. Irrespective of gender, when you like a Swede, just take a bold step and make the first move. If you keep waiting, they probably won’t come for you.
2. Do Not Say it is a Date
This is an important but confusing thing about Swedish dating – it is not called dating. You could ask someone out for fika. After going out about 2 or 3 times, then you can proceed to other things like cooking or attending a sporting activity together.
Going out to see a movie or eat dinner together will come much later. However, when the time comes, do not call it a date. It is still a movie and dinner. You can check out this website to learn more about fika.
3. Always Hug at the Beginning and End of Your Meeting
In some cultures, kissing is a form of greeting. This kiss is usually planted on the forehead or cheek. Honestly, in Sweden, doing that will creep them out, so do not try it. However, they are huge lovers of an awkward hug.
You know that type of hug that involves leaning in to wrap your hands around each other, then you separate. Each fika as well as other activities should begin and end with that kind of hug. Now, it is important to stick to that hug except you have defined things with your date.
When you both have admitted that you have mutual feelings, then you can use other forms of greeting. But for Swedes, kissing is quite complicated.
4. Get Ready to Pay
Yeah, we all know that those cinnamon buns and coffee drinks will add up in the long run. They are not cheap. However, the good thing is you are permitted to spend on just yourself – buy only what you will eat or drink.
This country is enthusiastic about gender equality and dating is not an exception. Girls do not expect guys to pay. The guys may or may not offer. But guys, you can still act like a gentleman and offer to foot the bills.
However, if she rejects the offer, she means it. Don’t push it any further. Swedes do not see reasons why only one person must pay the bills. So, be ready to split bills.
5. It is Always Exclusive
Because Swedes do not really date, this part may seem quite odd. They meet for fika as well as other activities. But as soon as you start having fika, going out regularly with one person, everyone assumes that you aren’t dating another person.
This implies that it is culturally wrong to have fika and still flirt with different people. You can have fika with your friends, but it is one Swede per time, otherwise, you are cheating. You may not have even said that you are in a relationship, but fika already implies so.
Do Swedes Date Online?
Did you newly relocate to Sweden and you just got a job that keeps you very busy? Or you are a full-time student with tons of tests to take and papers to write? You can still find love despite your busy schedule. That brings us to online dating.
But do Swedes date online? Sure, they do! Online dating is called nätdejting in Swedish. It is a booming activity in Sweden because the country is known for tech-savvy innovation and shyness. Below is a list of some popular apps and sites, including what makes them unique.
This dating site prefers to use the description, “social network”. It is not owned by a Swede but has an estimated three hundred and thirty million members worldwide. And it is quite popular among Swedes because it is free.
You will also find many foreigners on the site who basically want to hook-up. But if you want something serious, keep reading.
In 2014, this app caught the attention of people in their twenties in Sweden, including travelers looking for holiday fun. Some people have nurtured long-term relationships from this app while others use it for hookups.
Do not expect to find profiles that are in-depth. Many members lie about their names, age, even the pictures could be fake or younger versions of themselves. If you fancy a person, you can swipe ja (right), otherwise swipe nej (no).
Someone can only start conversing with you if both of you swiped right. This ensures that users do not get any unwanted messages from strangers.
3. Meet @ The Local
This site targets foreign professionals in the country. It’s an ex-pat community of about 1 million members. You can register for free, then take some tests that will help match your profile with compatible people in your location. Before deciding to have a physical meeting with a date, you need to check out https://www.safety.com/10-online-dating-safety-tips/ to get some safety tips.
4. OK Cupid
If you love taking questionnaires and magazine quizzes, you may love this site. Its matching system is math-based to help you locate potential dates. So, you must be honest about what you want in order to get a suitable match. If you are too picky, you may discover that you have limited options.
This is a free site for hipsters, people who are culture enthusiasts. Whether it is art, fashion, theatre, literature, or film, you can find people of like mind here. Apart from connecting singles to each other, the site serves as a tool for getting information on cultural events in Malmö, Stockholm, and Gothenburg. You need to know Swedish to use this site.
It was created in 2012 and was described by Swedes as an “exclusive club”. Little wonder you must apply to gain access. And not everyone is eligible to apply.
The criteria for applying include earning a minimum of five hundred thousand kronor per annum and owning assets worth at least three million. A staff member from the site will assess your income and credentials.
The website boasts of educated graduates who occupy prominent offices in the public and private sectors. And as you may already expect, membership is not cheap. The basic plan starts at 890 SEK each month.
Elitsinglar means “elite singles”. It is best for people who are quite choosy in terms of getting a date. So, if you are the type of person that would prefer to see a person’s CV instead of their interests and hobbies, this site is for you.
The site’s goal is to build a platform that focuses on premium quality such that members can find like-minded people for long-term relationships. The criteria for joining include being over 30 years of age and a high educational profile. Profiles are thoroughly screened before going public.
These are just a few dating sites for Swedes. But you can visit this page to discover other sites that can boost your chances of finding a date.
Every place has a culture governing it and Sweden is not any different. So, if you do not want to appear awkward, it is important to learn how to date in the country before approaching the subject. We shared tips that will help you when you decide to date a Swede. And if you are busy or shy, there are various dating sites for you.