They say when the going gets rough, the tough gets going. When you see the beauty of a wedding, with everything looking so fine and dandy and the crowd in celebration, you can’t help but remember the promise made on that day: the promise of forever. At least, that’s what we tend to believe when people tie the knot. They want to outlast the ultimate test, the test of time. But that a union is forever is increasingly looking more of a strand of fiction rather than a facet of truth.
Let’s face it, about 50% of couples who get married for the first time in America end up in divorce. Worse, the statistics show a bigger number for second and third marriages. Indeed, it’s a sobering reality. And the numbers are increasing. What used to 813,862 divorce and annulments in 2014 has steadily increased year in year out. That number became closer to 900,000 by 2010. And data does not even include all of America.
For anyone who is saying “I do” in front of an officiant, hoping things would last is certainly a logical proposition. The good news is there are steps to ensure you don’t have to endure the harrowing effects of a divorce proceeding. And live as one couple for the rest of your life.
Put Your Marriage First
You’ve heard it countless times. Do first things first. No less than the world-renowned leadership guru Stephen Covey said it best. It’s true. You need to prioritize your marriage first and foremost. And that means you’ll have to say no now and then to the not-so-important things.
Indeed, this is easier said than done. But if you put your marriage on top of your priority, giving it time and attention it needs should follow. Think of it as a garden. If your garden is a priority, then chances are, you won’t let weeds claim it.
More often than not, a divorce is the outcome of years of neglect of the relationship. Small wonder why a lot of businessmen struggle to keep their marriages intact. As driven are they to get their business going, entrepreneurs are bound to sacrifice time, money that’s meant for the family. The result is a slow decay that if unabated ends in a divorce court. Entrepreneurs have a higher divorce rate.
Lucky for you, there are tons of methodologies available online to help you resolve conflict with your spouse. You can actually get free training in this regard online. And you should be inspired to do as much as you can knowing the average cost for a divorce proceeding is $100,000.
A good reminder to keep your marriage first is by getting a pair of infinity couple rings from your trusted jeweler. The beauty and strength of these rings should help you tend to the relationship no matter the cost always.
Prevention is Better than Cure
A relationship is like a bank. If you constantly quarrel and disagree on things, chances are your relationship bank is running low on funds. Divorce is when all the funds are out. By the time, things have come to a head. Getting things back to their original state may be a hopeless case once this happens.
It’s important, therefore, that you don’t let negative things destroy your relationship bit by bit. Make sure you put regular deposits into your relationship account. Do acts of love. For instance, this can be in the form of observing monthly monthsaries. And yes, that can also mean having to let go of past sins.
If things have gotten to a point when healthy communication is hard, perhaps it’s time you let the relationship experts in. You may feel stigmatized by couple counseling, but the truth is it’s always better to seek one before things get out of hand and you’re sorry.
Start with Yourself
It takes two to tango. And once you point a finger at your better half, you may be missing a vital piece of the picture: You. Learn to take responsibility for your actions. By doing so, you have better chances of addressing the situation and curbing the negative behavior from both your ends.
Unfortunately, this also means you may have to go to couple’s therapy alone if your partner won’t do it. Going solo is a big first step to show how much you value the relationship. It’s also bound to help you heal knowing you did your best to save your marriage.
Even with the best of intentions, your marriage could end up in divorce. When it’s imminent, know that the best way to go is to separate with dignity. It’s best you discuss things amicably before you sit opposite each other with lawyers. A series of fingerpointing could lead to an emotional back-and-forth that’s doesn’t end well for both parties. The divorce of celebrity couples Johnny Depp and Amber Heard should remind us that.
Again, marriage is a garden. If you attend to it, the worms of divorce should not linger. And you should live your life happily.